Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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