anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
