I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
