Someone shit on the floor
we made out on top of his cat.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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