when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
