then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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