Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
