Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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