dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize