Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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