I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
