whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
