Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
