I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
