btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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