Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
