You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
