It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
