I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
