Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
