Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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