you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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