That's when you crack a 10am beer
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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