this boner is exhausting
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
