she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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