im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
