don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
