I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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