just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
