So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
