i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
