This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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