I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
