I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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