I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She's the barista slut.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
