I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
