The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
