At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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