Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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