I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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