Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
