Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
