Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize