the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
