it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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