Betty ford says i'm here all night
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
