dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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