Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
