Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize