She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
