I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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