The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
