i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
