I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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