so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
