Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
