we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
