You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
