so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Send help, water and tortillas.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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