And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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